Is FOMO my destiny?

I hate social media. 

I know that's both a very strong statement and at the same time a strongly shared sentiment, but regardless of those details, it's just true. 

For example, I just saw a post on Instagram of someone I know out and about. I've been to the place they've been to before. I have a million upcoming plans for my own fun adventures and nights out, and yet...and YET...I still felt like I was missing out on something. 

This is a disgusting feeling in a way--to be very aware that I have everything I could possibly want from my social life, and still feel like it'll never be enough. It's feelings like this that make me wonder how in the world I manage to open up my phone every day and not hate myself for it. 

Maybe I'm just too quick to put people who aren't me on a pedestal. I don't think I have low self-esteem, but if I don't then why do I feel so insecure? Why do I always have to talk myself out of a FOMO-ridden spiral when I log onto Instagram? 

The fact that this isn't just me who goes through this is really quite eye-opening, though. I have so much good in my life. Other people are allowed to have that too. In times like these, I remember a quote from a Sabrina The Teenage Witch episode: "Someone else having something doesn't take away from what I have." (Or something like that)

And I also refer back to my favorite book of all time: The Midnight Library. That book...God that book truly and wholeheartedly fixed my quarter-life crisis. And someday soon I'll be sure to write a blog dedicated to just that. But basically, I realized that you can't live every life and "what-if" and not be giving up something else in the meantime. And you can't have it all, at least not at the same time. 

I think what scares me a lot too is that this summer, being away as much as I'm going to be, I won't be able to appreciate where I am because I'll be too afraid of what I'm missing out on back home. I don't want to be so scared that I won't be fist-bumping at a local bar that I won't enjoy being with people I love across the world or across the country. Maybe this summer I should delete my social media or make it a rule for myself to stay off of it while I'm away? 

Something that has always helped me cope with these feelings was imagining the future where I'd be doing amazing things. But I guess part of my fear is that by doing so, I'll be ignoring how insanely amazing the present time really is. 

I have such incredible friends. Amazing career prospects. I'm losing weight and becoming who I want to be physically. I'm extremely close to my family. I have a new opportunity every day to go out and live my best life, and in one way or another--every day, I do.  

Hm. Maybe listing it is all it takes.

Thanks blogger, I feel better now. 

Xoxo

Alex