BREAKING UP WITH A GOOD PERSON

Breaking Up With A Good Person

Sometimes, some of the relationships that are the hardest for us to leave are the ones that on paper, seem to give us no reasons to.
Sometimes, we feel as though just because we are being treated so well by a person, we owe it to them and ourselves to stick around--more so out of guilt or fear than out of true feelings.
In this article, I'm going to break down my analysis of these relationships, to help you better understand and evaluate your own.

Guilt

Guilt is a huge factor when dealing with a "good person" who you're thinking of breaking up with. Guilt actually plays in many different forms here-- you feel guilty for breaking someone's heart and for feeling the way that you do. But the guilt in these forms is actually very telling. Listen to your intuition and why you feel this way. If you are truly in love with someone and happy in a relationship, then you wouldn't have to fight feelings of not wanting to be with them.

The truth of the matter is that you can't have a love life without breaking hearts and getting heartbroken as well. It's a part of dating and relationships that may suck, but what's the alternative--marrying every person you date? It's not supposed to be easy when you care about the person, but that doesn't mean you owe it to anyone to stick around for longer than you're truly happy doing.

Fear

Fear is another emotion that is a very instrumental factor in these situations. Most likely, you're ultimately afraid that if you break up with someone who treats you so well, you're never going to deserve (or even find) someone who treats you as well as they do. But please listen to me when I say how UNTRUE this is. You are afraid because you're thinking of the unknown instead of thinking about yourself and the fact that you deserve to be happy.

                     And you deserve to be truly, without a doubt in your mind, in love.

You DO deserve someone who treats you well. And it doesn't matter how "rare" it is to find people who will do so. Guess what? The longer you stay with someone who doesn't treat you well, the harder it will be to find the right person for you. Just like the expression says, "when one door closes, another door opens." Let your door close. Allow the next one to open.

You deserve to be in love with them back. You deserve to wake up almost every morning with a huge smile on your face and peace in your heart. You deserve to look at the person you love and not have any doubt in your mind what you feel about them, and being with them is what you want.

You deserve to be in a relationship where you don't have to convince yourself that you're happy.

Love vs. Friendship 

Sometimes we get confused when we wonder if we love someone versus when we just really like or love being with someone. You and your significant other may get along really great--you may laugh, help each other, give each other advice, and be able to spend hours together--but that ultimately doesn't mean that you love or are in love with them. Think about it, you can do those things with your best friends, but it doesn't mean you want to marry them.

Do your research

Dig deep and stop being afraid to find the truth within yourself. Journal and get all of your feelings out on paper. Meditate. Talk to someone you trust. Make a list of "truths" and "fears." Ask yourself the difficult questions and really figure out if you're truly happy with this person.

But the truth is if you have to ask yourself...you're probably not.

And that's okay. Do what's right for you.

You're worthy of it.

Controlli, per favore!