IT'S NOT ALL BLACK OR WHITE
"Black-or-white thinking," also known as "all-or-nothing thinking," is one of the 10 cognitive distortions and is identified through thinking in terms of extremes. This Psychology Today article is helpful in identifying some keywords and phrases that are commonly used as a result of this mindset, that when unidentified can be very effective in holding a person back from living their happiest and most fulfilled life.
If you are someone who has a mindset of 'all-or-nothing' thinking, then the words "always" and "never" are most likely frequented in your vocabulary, emphasizing and dramatizing negative situations and thinking. Here are some reminders if you're someone who struggles from this mindset, and is trying to train yourself out of it for a healthier and happier outlook on life:
Also, for more insight on this topic, check out Dr. David Burns' podcast episode here.
It's not all black or white.
Just because you snacked badly between lunch and dinner, that doesn't mean your day of healthy eating is ruined.
Just because your beauty isn't the same as someone else's, that doesn't mean you're not also beautiful.
Just because you haven't yet, doesn't mean you can't or won't.
Just because you have, that doesn't mean you always will.
Just because you've been hurt, that doesn't mean everyone can or will hurt you.
You can have moments of sin while still being ultimately good.
Sometimes people are both right and wrong.
You can be a clean person with messy habits.
Making a mistake is not a sign of failure.
Being successful does not guarantee future success. It also doesn't not guarantee future success.
You can't control what happens in life.
You are both fully in control and not in control at all. This applies to everything.
You can't plan everything out. And that's okay.
Asking a question means you care about being knowledgable.
No one knows everything.
No one is perfect.
No one has it all together. I don't care what Instagram tells you.
An inconvenience does not mean your day is ruined.
A rough month does not mean you have a terrible life.
It's not always you vs. them.
Not having a perfect record does not mean you fell short.
Not getting into a school does not mean you are not smart.
Not getting the job does not mean you will never get a job you want.
Relapsing does not mean you have failed.
Falling does not mean you cannot get back up.
No one is perfect and nothing is guaranteed.
Having an all-or-nothing personality may make you feel great when you're on top of things in your life, but when you forget that you can never be 100% perfect, it is overwhelming when you fall short of your expectations.
As Dr. Burns put so well--"Life becomes way more colorful when you learn to think in shades of grey!"
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