I'm a writer.
I love writing. It makes me happy. It fills my heart. I don't know why, it just does. I don't ALWAYS feel fulfilled by it, especially when I'm stressed and staring blankly at a ticking deadline. But I'm quickly revived by the idea that I am a writer. That's who I am. And oh my, do I want to embrace it more.
So that's why I'm here. That's why I've decided to revive the old blog that I started during the US lockdown. Even without the friends that I've left behind whom I started this group of blogs with, this one is still mine. And I'm here to share my thoughts, feelings, anxieties, hopes, and dreams. And oh gosh do I have SO many anxieties...and hopes and dreams.
First of all, I've been babysitting. And let me tell you, being a babysitter has been one of the best and hardest things I've ever had to do. I don't think any job I've ever had before required as much work from me as much as being a bonus adult in two little kids' lives has been. It's been rewarding, challenging, and very, very, tiring. And also really great.
For one thing, I've become part of someone else's family. I have an influential role in the lives of those who I once knew only as strangers. Did I want to quit after the first day? Through tears, yes. But I would not be who I am today a school year later if I did.
Being a babysitter is actually really funny because no other job could prepare me to have kids more and make me want them less, LOL. I'm happy to wait another 10 years or so. I see old peers of mine purposefully embarking on their life's journeys, getting married, and announcing pregnancies. And all I can think about is how insane they must be. But the truth is that at the same time, I realize how many of these people needed this part of their lives to start sooner than others. Drake called it God's Plan for a reason, right?
(God also knows that I am in no way ready for that, though. I'll very happily take the quality time with my baby cousins and babysitting jobs over being a mom in my 20s.)
What I DO know, however, is that I want to help people. I haven't truly mastered in what way I would be doing that yet, but I know that it's going to be related to writing in some way. I ultimately want to be on a talk show, but that's really more of a retirement plan than a current plan of action.
I'm looking for a job to really get my career started. Granted, I'm looking for something related to connecting with people or writing. However, if it has anything to do with helping others I'll be insanely fulfilled. Because writing is something I can do and build on the side. And sometimes you just have to let your life unfold with the opportunities presented to you that fit you best for the time being. Sometimes that's just how the cookie crumbles.
Speaking of cookies, today I was driving on the highway when the two kids I babysit for, got into a fight and started throwing pieces of a frosted cookie at each other, covering my car in confectionary dust. I'd never been more excited about a car wash. Or for my trip out of here, for that matter. (Rome, Morocco, Vegas, Miami, and Grand Canyon...I'm ready for you Summer 2021!!!)
So about that metaphorical life cookie I was talking about--I have a feeling babysitting is going to be preparing me for my next big move. I don't want to jinx anything, but I just have a feeling. A very positive feeling.
Can't wait to keep you updated.
Alex :)
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