YES, I'M BOTHERED.
You know what's one of my biggest pet peeves? When someone says/does something to upset you, and you get the blame for creating a hostile environment because you responded to defend yourself.
Like, okay...it's totally fine and normal for her to say something rude, but if I don't pretend it didn't bother me then I'M the "killjoy."
You know what I've decided? That I've had enough of that narrative. As a matter of fact, if I'm upset, I don't want to hear anything from anyone trying to make me believe that I shouldn't be upset. If it's rightfully so, then I'm justified without question.
Recently I came back from vacation with a group of friends, and one of the girls on the trip--someone whom I had high respect and consideration for--basically stabbed me in the back. It was subtle in a not-so-subtle way, and because of how she handled herself in front of other people, it was as though I was wrong to be upset with her...cool.
This reminds me of another vacation I had gone on recently this past winter, where the "birthday girl" was being entitled, rude, and trying to turn people against me...but if I was upset, I had to keep it to myself because it was "her trip." Huh?
I mean with all due respect, I have absolutely zero problems with booking a flight back home and having some peace. But then I'd be "overdramatic," wouldn't I be?
These things really upset me, and I believe for good reason. I think it's wrong to be the kind of friend who makes your upset friend feel crazy. I think it's plain out ridiculous and immature to think it's okay for someone who's wrong to speak up, but for the person who's right to shut down. I also think it's stupid.
So, don't be that friend. And if it's happening to you...take a deep breath, and know you're not alone. And maybe there's only so much you can do if you're trapped in another area with these people, but once you go home, know you never have to speak to them again.
See ya later,
Alex
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